​Psychologist Brendan Mooney writes on relationships, self-care, anxiety, depression and many other topics related to psychology. To receive email notification of new articles and updates subscribe here.

What is really most painful about chronic pain?
by Brendan Mooney Psychologist

How often do people who are living pain free consider what life is like for those experiencing chronic pain? 
For many, the thought of living a life of constant pain is unfathomable but what most may not realise is that often it is not the pain itself that is most debilitating.

Obsessing over imperfection – What are we getting out of it?
by Brendan Mooney Psychologist

​Do you find yourself focusing on the imperfections in your life? Are you always trying to find ways to improve your life / career / relationships but feel like it’s never enough? Do you stop to smell the roses along the way or are you too focused on how they need pruning?

To respond or react, ​that is the question . . .

4 keys to curbing the intensity of your
​emotional reactions
by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
We can all relate to what it feels like to react to something, for example feeling angry or frustrated at someone, or withdrawing when you feel someone is being loud or obnoxious. However what if we could respond to these situations rather than react to them?

Experiencing acute or
chronic pain part 1:
9 principles to support yourself

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
Pain can feel uncomfortable, irritating, intense, or even overwhelming. If pain is chronic, it can leave you feeling worn down and depressed. When it comes to pain, a number of simple principles and techniques can be applied to support ourselves. 

Does mental health
start with the body?
​

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
Modern Psychology often focuses on the mind as central to understanding mental health, but given the brain is part of the body and is not exclusive to it, what if a more integrative approach is needed? What can our body teach us about mental health?

Cyber abuse unmasked: 
​Bringing accountability to an out of control world​

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
Cyber abuse is a huge global issue, it affects many children and adults worldwide although its true affect on people and society is unknown. In severe cases of cyber abuse people have committed suicide, in many cases children.

Experiencing acute or
chronic pain part 2: 
10 techniques to support yourself

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
This article follows on from our previous article Experiencing Acute or Chronic Pain Part 1, which examined the principles related to addressing pain. Now we look at specific techniques to support yourself with your pain.

Dying to express – The dilemma of lack of communication
​amongst men

​by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
Ever said to a man ‘how do you feel?’ and he just grunts? Why are women generally more expressive about their feelings than men? Is it really due to genetics or is it something about the way we as a society ask boys and men to be? 

Responsibility is not a dirty word
​​

​by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
Responsibility is usually equated to our actions, in other words you either eat the piece of cake or you don’t. But why do we find it difficult to make choices that are responsible? Perhaps the answer lies in responsibility being more than just what we do. 

Are relationships ever personal?
​​

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
Particularly with close relationships, when another does something that is less than loving or even abusive it can feel very personal and deep hurts can come up. But have we ever stopped to consider that perhaps relationships are never personal? 

Experience brings wisdom...
​or does it?​​​

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
Experience is typically regarded as something that gives us something, or advances us or improves us in some way. We can often feel that our life is more fulfilled for having had it. However, what if none of this is true whatsoever? 

Tips on developing quality of sleep
​

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
Many people have difficulty getting to sleep or staying asleep, or wake feeling exhausted. Without quality of sleep, a whole host of physical and psychological issues can arise, hence the importance of consciously ensuring we are supporting ourselves in this way. 

Why taking things out of context is worse than outright lies
​

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
Taking things out of context is a very common way we manipulate in relationships. But what if taking things out of context is actually more insidious than outright lies? And why are we not prepared to tell the full truth and instead choose to express a distorted version of it?

Simple self-care for our bodies
​

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
Whilst self-care is easy, why is it that we often do not self-care in even the most basic ways? And what if self-care is not just about healthy sleep, food and exercise, but about developing a self-relationship based on connecting to our bodies and honouring ourselves? 

Being true to ourselves
​​

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
Are you simply yourself around others or do you alter yourself in some way? For example, we may attempt to show our best side to others but hide our imperfections. But why do we live this way and have we ever examined if this way of living actually works?

Drug use and abuse...
​a messy subject​​
​

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
When negative symptoms are not experienced it may be common for a person to assume that their drug of choice is not particularly harmful to them. However, what if we also took into account the impact of drug use or abuse based on a person’s true potential?  

Understanding we have a choice over the quality of our lives: Part 1​​

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
In every moment of every day we make choices. But have we really considered the extent to which our choices affect our quality of life? And is it possible that every single choice we make affects our quality of life in some way?

A deeper approach to 
​practitioner responsibility​​

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
Whilst a practitioner’s role is often focused on supporting clients to take better care of themselves, as practitioners we ought to bring equal focus to supporting ourselves too. Unfortunately this is often not the case. 

Exhaustion:
​A modern day epidemic​

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
Exhaustion has become a global epidemic as reflected by the high sale of stimulants in recent years. If we took away all the caffeine, sugar and other stimulants in society, how much vitality would we feel? Would we still be able to work or make it through the day?

The cost of reaction​
​

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
​Consider that one reaction can cost a person their job, their relationship, or even their children. Given reactions can cost us so much, is it really worth not dealing with our issues? Perhaps we ought to seek support for our dilemmas well before they wreak havoc on our lives.

Supporting vs. helping...
​is there a difference?​​

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
Particularly when it comes to our closest loved ones, we often interchange the terms support and help as meaning the same thing. However, what if we considered there is an important difference between supporting someone and helping them? 

Understanding self-harming behaviour
​

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
Self-harm refers to a person choosing to harm themselves, and the most recognised types of self-harm include cutting, scratching, burning or hitting. Bringing an open and non-judgemental approach is key to supporting those who self-harm.   

Simplicity over complexity
​​

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
The world seems to encourage if not promote complexity as being more intelligent in some way. Although what if complexity is actually just a more difficult way to deal with a situation when it need not be complicated at all?

Tips on how to deal with anxiety
​

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
Anxiety is a very common experience for many today. Typical symptoms include restlessness, avoidance of situations and an over-active mind. However it is possible to apply practical strategies to support ourselves to feel equipped to handle life and anxiety. 
​

Men, depression and dealing with the unseen​

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
Whilst men may be great at fixing things they are generally underdeveloped when it comes to dealing with unresolved emotional issues, in particular their hurts. As a result men are often totally unequipped on how to deal with life beyond the practical. ​

Online or offline, there is no excuse for abuse

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
Never before have we had technology that allows us to propagate material about someone that is simply not true, taken out of context or deliberately tampered with to create a misconstrued message that is malicious in its intent. Will we continue with what is unacceptable? 

A deeper look into corruption and what it means to eradicate it​

​by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
When we talk about the word ‘corruption’, what often comes to mind are images of the mafia or dodgy business dealings. Whilst these are obvious forms of corruption, is it possible that corruption represents much more than this? 

Understanding anger and
​why we use it

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
We can all relate to feeling angry at some point in time. For some of us, anger is a frequent experience whereas for others it is an occasional bout. Whilst we could say anger is a part of the human experience, what exactly is anger and what are some of the reasons why we use it?

Men, tenderness and the opposite of abuse: But are we ready for it?​

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
History is unfortunately riddled with horrendous forms of abuse committed by men. Today we are still plagued by frequent acts of physical and psychological abuse by men which has a devastating effect on the quality of our lives. Is it not time to truly put an end to this abuse? 

The untold story of emotional addiction

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
Addiction usually refers to alcohol or drug addiction, gambling addiction or even addiction to food or sex. But have we ever considered that these so-called addictions are actually just management tools to a much greater addiction?

Understanding how to communicate and express in our relationships​

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
We are generally encouraged to communicate effectively in our relationships, but what does it really mean to communicate and express? And is there a difference between communicating and expressing in our relationships?

Our relationship with alcohol -
​is it really normal?​

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
Why do we accept drinking poison (alcohol) as a normal part of human life? Is it not abnormal to poison oneself? Perhaps we ought to examine where our need for alcohol comes from, as in, what are we trying to avoid by drinking it?

Self-sabotage...why do we do it?
​​​

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
We can all relate to self-sabotaging in our lives at times. However, have we really asked ourselves why we do it and what we get out of it? Perhaps the deeper we look into our self-sabotaging behaviours the more ridiculous they become.

Reducing symptoms in counselling vs. addressing the underlying issue...is there a difference?​​

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
Some counselling or psychological therapy can focus on reducing symptoms but not address the underlying issue. Whilst this approach to therapy may provide short-term symptomatic relief, have we considered the long-term implications to our health and well being?

Honouring our sensitivity
​​​

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
Sensitivity is often misunderstood as something that is meek, mild or even pathetic. However we are all by nature deeply sensitive, although we often use a variety of ways specifically designed to hide, dull, or in some cases completely obliterate our awareness of the fact. 

Treating depression:
​Why thinking about it won't work​​

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
Depression is now one of the leading conditions affecting humanity. This article explores why it is not wise to merely attempt to talk your way out of depression, but instead embrace an all-encompassing approach involving the entire body.

Do expectations stop us from observing life?​​​

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
We can all relate to having expectations about people and life. However, have we really considered what expectations are and whether they serve a true purpose? What if they actually stop us from observing what is happening in the present moment?

Putting out fires vs. being on the front foot in life

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
When we seek support for a small issue that has become a big issue, we are ‘catching up’ on something left unresolved for a while. Whereas being on the front foot is about stepping into a greater potential– which prevents the problems from occurring in the first place.

Why relief is no completion​
​

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
When we seek relief in life, we are merely wanting to avoid or escape our woes and dilemmas, rather than seek true answers to them. This inevitably leads to finding ourselves in the same situations again and again, only to experience short reprieves in between. 

Questioning abuse:
​Why it could be more prevalent in your life than you might think​

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
Given our history, have we accepted that abuse is just a normal part of society, and therefore will always exist? What if this is a convenient belief so that we do not have to challenge the status quo, in other words, how the majority live?

True exercise:
​More than just physical fitness

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
It is natural for our bodies to regularly move as a way to maintain flexibility, strength, and vitality. Although have we considered whether we are exercising in a quality that truly supports our bodies or are we merely going through the function of it?

Irresponsible journalism:
​When will we say enough?​

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
In its simplest form, the purpose of public media is to convey the truth, the facts. Unfortunately less than this if not very far away from it has become commonplace in the media today. Why do we allow the media to publicly ‘name and shame’ our fellow members of society?

Understanding we have a choice over the quality of our lives: Part 2

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
What does it mean to truly change our quality of life? Is it about finally having the money to buy your dream house / car / boat? Or is it through having a good job and maybe doing some charity work? What if none of these things actually change our quality of life? 
​

It's just a game, right?​
​

by Brendan Mooney Psychologist
Whilst we can say that gaming is a make-believe world and not reality, it is important to note that scientifically our bodies go through the same experiences nonetheless. Can we really assume there won't be any impact to our health and relationships as a result?